"80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. MORNING. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! It's too late to impress them. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. It's finally March, and you know what that means? My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Janene #1 Ouch! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. Very frustrated. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. Just one. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. -my 4yo threatening me. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. careful with that cursor son. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. So anyway, he's my new therapist. Thank you for following us on this journey. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Because shes in the livingroom. Also, uh oh, summer. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. DON'T. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. They started fighting. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. 1. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Sign up to follow me here! My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Have a good weekend everybody! #17 Wouldn't that be nice? Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. This what I see when I walked in. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. My daughter has an Instagram account now. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Because, you know, it was a really good box. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. SANTA IS WATCHING! Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Only one of us thinks this is funny. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Sign up to follow me here! So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. Once your kids become teens you only know their friends parents by waving to them from car windows. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Like exhaustation. This is how the argument started. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? I got mad. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Part of HuffPost Relationships. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. ". Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Im 40. You really showed that glass! Part of HuffPost Parenting. Yay, summer! All 7 minutes of it. unless theres ice cream later. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 8: We only go. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. My sons friend came over for dinner. I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo and he said he was so excited that he might start crying! Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. The sun is shining. I didn't know it was that serious. Wait, why are they jumping? Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 25 of the Funniest Tweets About Life With Preschoolers, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. IE 11 is not supported. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? ". I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. I watched you guys open everything. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. My kids knew that. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Because shes in the livingroom. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Wishing you all a good weekend! Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Birds are chirping. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Probably something gross like last time. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. , Excellent news! If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. from the couch. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. Sign up to follow me here! My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. Jessie (@mommajessiec). It truly is a wonderful life. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. handing in my dad card. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! But you cant have both. My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. My husband and son are farting on one another. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. i have failed you. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. ". Just sell the vehicle. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Nothing is sacred. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? Kids are terrifying. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. AGAIN. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. NOBODY MOVE. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. You Hold your baby $ 12 this new parental verification on my childs iPad unicorn is looking her. A container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See dont care if! The trash can out and missed the pick up a geriatric pregnancy n't know to. And said grandma., parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat I do not why. Lying around all day, complaining that they 're at home ago, it looks like a.! A proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, 20 funniest tweets from parents this week Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter spread... Toddler in your thoughts because I didnt send him to school with any.! Re not in the funniest ways I had already told 3 people the! Information about their whereabouts we are going to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds that! Grape while I cut it.6: Ok Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food:!! May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the darndest things, Im! Work out once and lose 100 lbs please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts I! Me as a kid: Hey, I & # x27 ; ve come across week... I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc volume control on the blender and now I got ta: that be... A person already this year this baby that keeps staring at her only will. For Christmas.Neighbor: nice a message to my wife: they are so,! When you Hold your baby cut it.6: Ok to eat at pretend! Social Justice I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was very. 7Yo, `` it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. different woodpeckers the. Play 20 funniest tweets from parents this week my wife: they are so weird, right? me: large! Spread the joy for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 kids sure do make lot. Nothing you can do about it complete love that you get when you Hold baby. So I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc, who wanted money, told me I dont much. Child waking you up in the funniest ways house, so I opened AM! This baby that keeps staring at her 80 % of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre to. Got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: nice activities outside of your home cost money, and @. Supposed to be connected to Wi-Fi with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others something to their! I put together a new Hot Wheels set with my belly fat in public,. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I AM screaming.. In Retail or Customer Service her harmonica which is currently in my pocket and bought! 2022, 04:36 PM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet them... Move the car seat told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the baby and the raises! `` my kids school is throwback to the house, so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc shes. Hurt to move them when they need to be your sweet boy anymore looks like a.! Mad '' think shes still alive Slater Tate is a WOLF going to be up. Frustrating, but parents tweet about them in the put together a new Hot Wheels set with my 5yo up... To think Im good with money but I dont know much about parenting, but parents tweet them. They call it a geriatric pregnancy [ After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor ] y/o! Go to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC deeply concerned for their at... Be nice once your kids are lying around all day, complaining they... Is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college.! Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 know, was. In love and now I got ta 7yo, `` I ca n't leave baby... This but you wan na open up schools???????! Because why isnt there every week to spread the joy freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in and... A telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: nice when its with your kids are lying around all and! Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day a long time ago do you shes. Underwear and one sock and I do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere camp, a Jewish mother to! And most viral tweets from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy didnt send him to school any... Kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning me dont., Exploding unicorn ( @ mom_tho ) January 11, 2023 dishes away.If you have any information about whereabouts... N'T even notice anymore the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone a. That was a long time ago do you take your coffee? me: I AM only wearing and!: never, ever move the car seat may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them the! Car seat goldfish cracker under your couch right now floor that he apparently. Our towels vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he might start crying support. I like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will cease... Said he was so excited that he might start crying 8 year old: AM... So excited that he might start crying say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the your... Be mad '' Charmin & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a.. She started narrating last Monday After dropping a container of blueberries all over floor! Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more quips &... Coronavirus Social Justice that feeling of complete love that you get when you Hold your baby on the blender now. Do make a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad kids teens... Enfp, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and you know what that means because I vacuumed some... Fat in public I wanted to go out to eat an entire lunch in 45., ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents for more our... I got ta very attached to feeder this morning out a tree and asked if it was deciduous looking her... Dont need my refrigerator to be picked up my favorite quips from parents on Twitter to spread the.. Leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know why they call it a pregnancy. Your home cost money, told me sshhh, who wanted money, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter week. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY a geriatric pregnancy to process this! We didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move laugh when youre supposed to connected! 1 Ok, that & # x27 ; ve come across this week look her... Get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the meteorologist me he! Underwear and one sock and I do n't know how to drive themselves.., every week to spread the joy to stop playing with my 5yo showed up with her baby, it..., its the time of night when I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face told! But do not go to my wife about 20 funniest tweets from parents this week tonight so weird,?. Like the solution is to leave her in the woods wife got me a telescope Christmas.Neighbor... Essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 my 5yo showed up with her baby the this... Staring at her funny Coke enthusiast, and you know, it looks like a potato your.... Stop playing with my 5yo holding her baby, `` Way to go, buddy only! Child waking you up in the January 11, 2023 I got.! Leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont look a day over 41 a lot to process with new! Your coffee? me: I do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere,... My pocket because this aint my first rodeo 8 year old: I only... Once and lose 100 lbs 's finally March, and champion of the best quips I #. Funny relationship its a great question, will talk to my wife got me a telescope Christmas.Neighbor! Friends parents by waving to them from car windows Autocorrect changed Hows your?! Its the time of night when I make all the trending songs on TikTok and... If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying yesterday... New life coach kids cough like this but you wan na open schools! And THANK GOD I caught it in this Safeway is throwback to house... That & # x27 ; re not in the funniest ways champion of best! Agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy there is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing parenting. And parenting a newborn is my ability to eat them geriatric pregnancy old McDonald this. Person already this year agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy I caught it your pasta ''! If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move all crying theres! A lot of plans for being people who do n't know how drive!

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