she just stared at him from top to bottom, puzzled how come daddy is not in the TV (our tv screen connected to the laptop). My daughter is my first child and I have waited a long time to have her. Since my son, per judge, lives only with his dad. I also got jealous sometimes, and wanted my baby to love me as much as I love him. Please help if you have passed this phase. Instead, I think this is the way to see the situation: You ask can a baby not like their mom..? Babies and moms dont automatically bond; just like anyone else they need to spend time together. except some weekends I have to work away from home (Overnight). Since she was born my parents have always been around helping and visiting. There is simply no replacement for a mother, period. I am really shattered. Around 12 weeks or so, speak with your boss about the details of your maternity leave. I would give up my job in an instant if I could but we simply cannot afford to do this as we also look after my father-in-law and every penny is needed. Regardless of how strong the bond between your and your daughter is today, and the reasons for the situation, if you continue to love her and spend time with her alone and with other, things will improve. Create a soothing atmosphere 3. since the beginnig, when i couldnt handle her or it became overwhelming, i gave her to grandma to help me calm her. by Ashley Jones July 13, 2021 Everything that happens in your life once you have a baby just feels different.. I know that nobody is going to want to hear this but your relationship with your child might never be the same if you just ignore it. Am really worried if everything is ok with her, like if she is mentally growing. I have just put my 8 mth old to bed and was going to come into my room and cry I went back to work 3 wks ago and he has been ill on and off this week. There is no need for us to feel bad, they are babies, they know they need us and we know they love us. its hard to be a parent but it is very important. I have been her sole provider since then, her father and I are no longer together, though she sees him often, but she seems to recognize him and holds her hands out to him and is so happy when he comes. Her siblings ask the same thing and how she became that way. Even when I say hi or try and pick her up and kiss her, she doesnt want anything to do with me. I have a 7 month old son and since he was born his grandmother(dads mom) has been obsessed. Pump or hand express your milk. In my observation some babies who dont do this have mothers who dont hold them a lot and are less responsive but not always. What a painful situation you are in! Those five weeks where he preferred his daddy over me where the hardest things Ive had to face since becoming a mum. But again, to keep you in their minds even when youre not there, both recordings and video conversations might be good. Take heart, dear parents. you can see that she love him , but when she sees him its another story . My wife works part time on my days off, meaning our daughter goes into a lovely nursery 1-3 days per week and we split the child care between us for the rest. Paula, please give me some advice! But its like the opposite of your problem. Pin it or frame it at a place where you can give a quick look. After all, during their first twelve months babies still physically need mother's milk. Many babies go through periods when only one of the parents will do it can be either the mom or the dad. Unfortunately she has developed a deep bond with my mother (as to be expected) and not me. I have a 14.5 month old baby girl. Sometimes in 1-2 minutes. Thats good too; try to see that. Can someone please advise me on what to do? i dun get to spent time with her during weekdays..my husband dun understand me wat i am going through . Unfortunately I allow my feelings to get hurt too easily. Your baby will not feel abandoned by you when you return to work. She also wont let me give her the bedtime bottle- she screams- it has to be done by Daddy. He gets really upset when Daddy leaves the room. At the same time, he prefers his moms presence and shows it. I cooked everyday to make meals that she likes, I hold her all the time despite my back pain, I have tried so hard for her but I still failed. So the child has gone through traumatic events including the separation from her father which shes always been so attached to. Paula, I saw in other posts you said 8 and 9 months are very sensitive times Will you please explain what you mean? Always having a problem with feeding (she doesnt really like milk), she has always preferred to have her bottle with her caretaker (who lives with us). it felt so good reading all the posts and knowing that out there, there were so many mums who felt the same as I did. I give him 100000 kisses daily and hugs to kind of make up for it. Take her to a playground or to watch the dogs in a park or whatever she might enjoy. I hope you've enjoyed today's post! It is good to know that I am not the only who has this feeling that their own children doesnt love them. Sometimes I just want to give up and let her be. This way, your daughter will get much more time close to you. Im Paula and you can read about this website and how it all started here. I have only returned this week to work after 11 months off with my 11 month old baby girl. Just wanted to let you know that your experience is word-for-word like my experience with our little boy. I kind of gave up trying to figure it out, and just really tried to just remain bright and happy and easy going. Warming the nipple (just run it under warm water) may help, too. its a vicious cycle sometimes if i feel down, then shes rejecting me, then i feel even more worthless, then shes acting out even morei have to just stop and think about what im projecting. It may be because she may be spoiled to the phase of a daddys girl, or it may be you. I have read all of the posts and it is kind of a double edge sword to say that I am glad that other people are or have gone through the same things that I am going through. Also if I am holding him and she walks by, he struggles to get away from me. What can i do to get my daughter back? I see you're still nervous. Sep. 5, 2016. I feel like a failure when it comes to being a mom. It makes me very sad because she tried so hard for her and I feel like I waited my whole life to have a child and she is our only one and now I wonder what I am doing that is so wrong. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. He tells me he wants me to leave and daddy to stay. She absolutely refuses and when I asked her pediatrician he basically said tough luck my baby is too smart to take a bottle. Hi Im a step father an I have a little boy who is 2 now an I been in his life since he was three months old. She scratches me especially on the face near my eyes which really hurts she sometimes bites me or cries when i go near her and refuses any toys i might give her also she longer longer enjoys any of the songs i used to sing to her. Im in need of some help here. I hope what you said is true and its just a phase. New moms might think it's just weight gain, lack of sleep, or nerves, causing . What can I do? Dear mom, do you think that you might be suffering from a postpartum depression? Be proud of the fact that you are doing such a good job of making your daughter take you for granted that is exactly what a baby needs; to always know in her heart that mom is there for her no matter what. Disguise the bottle. baby rejecting mom after going back to workbusiness memo examples. Daddy stays home with her now and she is so attached to him. But I see no end to this..I will never forgive myself for missing out on all those beautiful beautiful moments that I have been robbed off. Thanks for reaching out and talking about the fact that your baby rejects you after going back to work. A more upright position makes it easier for the milk to go "down the hatch.". A boy and a girl. I just read your comment and can really feel your sorrow and frustration and wanted to give you some encouragement. Also, when you come home, try to be together with them together with your wife as much as possible, so that their separation anxiety regarding mom doesnt come between the three of you. In 2019, the labor force participation rate for women was 57.4%, compared with 69.2% for men, according to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). This means that for many working moms, maternity leave isn't an option, period. I dont get it. (And have your partner or another caregiver do the feedings, so your baby gets used to taking her meals from someone else.) The most common reason a baby would begin to reject the breast after receiving a bottle is that the bottle was an easier route to take. blessings to you all. He even prefers strangers arms over mine sometimes, like my gardener or one time the carpet cleaning guy. I take care of her so nicely and to the best of efforts but she doesnt like me. Its the worst feeling in the world that, after a 13 hour work day, I come home to a baby who doesnt want me and a daddy who has absolutely no sympathy to my feelings. Maybe she thinks you dont want her and feels rejected going to work when she is still so young? I think there are two things you should do. It might be worth trying too. I used to take pride in what I do as a professional, now I feel sorry for myself that because of my academic pursuits, I am not even a good mother I have to take her back with me in a month to the USA, and its making me nervous about how she will deal with the separation from my parents she screams endlessly especially at night if I try to put her to sleep myself and is inconsolable. I have a beautiful 15 month old little girl, and am so worried that I have permanently damaged our relationship in some way.I think its started from birth really, when she was born I was desperate to nurse her but she seemed to fight my efforts and would arch her back and scream and punch at me with so much hate in her eyes. his grandad really does spoil him buying him everything thats going, he has to buy him something no matter where he goes & now grandad has turned round & said he wants money for his birthday so he can buy him & my son something for them both to play with. If she wants dad to put her to bed, let her have dad, but see if you can figure out a way to join in now and then. I feel very bad. Whenever my fiance and I pick up my almost 3 year old daughter from her fathers she cries and clings to her father. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. BUT there is arguably nothing more important, more primal, than the relationship of a child to her mother. But in your case, I would say that this is not a relevant worry! So, yes, absolutely discuss how you can help each other more. Ive been really upset about in the last few days, crying about it and even getting cross about it. Anybody who has been the same boat please help in trying to mend things and get my kid to like us both equally. Hi everyone, In addition, she might have trauma and losses in her background to deal with. Can someone give me a lil advice to help me. When I do leave him he doesnt even notice. She wants to go to ANYONE (atleast any relative that shes familiar with) instead of me; her dad most importantly. She even goes to our maid servent and she is so happy if she sees her. May I ask how your relationship is when dad is not around? She seems to want her father more and will only laugh at me. It really hurts. Ive reached the point where I want to leave my house and just leave her and my husband alone so see how they would make it without me. Which just doesnt help at all! I dont think putting your whole life in a more stressful state by moving should be your first choice, in case living with your mom works well in all other aspects. Im ready to walk but want to be there for my children & my girlfriend is due again in December with another little boy. Sigh. It breaks my heart and I consider just leaving her. Try to do things with your son that he just cant resist playing funny games, dancing or whatever. I rush home to see her and she cries/moans when she sees me I hold my hands out to her and she clings to whoever she is with at the time. They need physical closeness, frequent eye contact, reassurance, tenderness and loveand it must be consistent and from the same personpreferably from the mother, who also feeds the baby. At 12 mos the situation was improved. For example, are we all prone to depression or were all our babies C-sections, or what are our living arrangements/work arrangements? Why is that so? Choosing which wars to fight as a parent makes a big difference. Step 1: Bring the nipple (no bottle attached) to the baby's mouth and rub it along the baby's gums and inner cheeks, allowing the baby to get used to the feeling and texture of the nipple. Carry on telling your cousin who her mother is and that it is not you. But 3 weeks ago I got hospitalized. My baby is now 10 months today n when daddy comes home from work he just want to be with him i reach my hands to him n he doesnt want me to carry him but if my husband goes and trys to get him he automatically goes with him:'( im feeling really down But when daddy goes to work is different he wants me but it seems that is only choice he has .. Thanks. Try feeding with cool or alternatively warmed milk. The answer is yes, although breastfeeding after returning to work is definitely trickier in some situations. you. I have a 3 year old with whom I am going through a very same problem and I am having a really tough time with it. Your son loves you no less because he enjoys the company of his grandma. My daughter is 2 1/2 years old, and she used to be very affectionate. But it is a natural and normal development for a child who has bonded tightly with his mom (or parents). He squirms out of my arms and nearly vaults himself into my husbands arms when my husband walks past us. Now, today is my sons 2nd birthday and Im delighted beyond words that my son is fully bonded with me and I truly feel like a real mother. Hello all moms I am glad to know that this may be just a phase I am a 24 year old mom first child. Depending on the babys age and who she has been around the most, one parent or the other will be the preferred one. amitabh bachchan interview 1984; breckenridge mn high school; baby rejecting mom after going back to work. I am just grateful to know this happens in other cases. It hurts so bad and I feel like a failure, but I have to work to make money. The situation must be painful for you. As you say, youre the one who has been there for her all her life and still is in many ways, and now youre suddenly gone much more. It doesnt work! We now understand that this is just a phase and will follow through on your suggestions, Well i am very upset these days my problem is when i use to come back from home my baby didnt comes to me he goes to everyones hand except me i use to cry at night daily of this reason i have fear that he will forget me forever and the attachment will not develop between me and with my baby in 24 hrs he use to come in my hand for only 1 hr.Will my baby forgets me forever or will not i use to wait daily for him at office to meet him as soon as possible but he doesnt gives any reaction to me when i come to home,i am very tensed please give solid solution as he is closed to his grandma and with my brother-in-law. I dont know if maybe he was picking up on my dark mood, my insecurities? However, as in some of the other posts, dad seems to be the one to play with and have fun with and I am the one who had to do the laundry and clean the house..could this have anything to do with the favoritism? It is great that they help you out, so that you can finish school, but the situation with your daughter is obviously breaking your heart. Hi my daughter is 4months old.She only goes to her paternal grandmother.Whenever i try to take her on my lap she starts crying badly. Good luck and let us know how things develop! Give him a bah, feed him, put him to bed, give him his breakfast, get him dressed, take him out in his pram and do not take no for an answer or it will get worse. When she was 5 months old, daddy came back.the moment she saw my husband at the door was a funny one. She just wants me to go away from her. If you are going back to work at 6 weeks, you could start introducing your baby to a bottle about two weeks beforehand. Within one week of my twin girls being born , I was posted overseas on a 2 yr project, and get home only one week every three months Because of the location it is just not realistic to take my wife and babies, and when I get home, both my babies just start to cry when I go near them, this tends to last most of the week.. Apart from leaving my job, is there any advice you can give me. xxx. Like he likes seeing us fight over him, gets an almost devious smile to see that hes hurt my feelings. Now that you've understood the first approach, solving this issue won't be so hard. I was always there for him. If anything, it will harm the situation more. Well, they dont know each other yet! Planning ahead can make the transition easier. i also wrote here several months ago. I am also 6mths pregnant with our third and it is stealing the joy of having another baby. Hi all i am the farther to my 15 month old son & he is a loving child at home but as soon has we go to his Nana & granddads house he doesnt want to no me. I understand what you are saying about your little girl. She is in love, so to say, and wants to be with you all the time. And when I get her home she ignores me. Im going back to work next month so I started bottle fed baby at 2.5 mo 3 weeks ago. Any parent who has been there can relate to your pain. Crying is normal but the baby will adjust: "Sorry to hear about what's going on, but we've all been there in some way or another, so you're not alone. My daughter is nearly six months old and she gets really grumpy with me. Her caregiver is my sister-in-law and she treats my daughter like her own child. She keeps telling me that shes a bad mother and that our daughter hates her. Tips for Going Back to Work After Baby and Easing into a Routine. He is now a year old, but at around 9 months he did the same thing with me. But during this next period, children no longer want to marry their parent of the opposite sex and parent of the same sex become a lot more important. And one afternoon she suddenly started rejecting me. In any event, what helped me was to actively and often affirm to myself that I am a GOOD mother. A baby or toddler may react by rejecting a parent after going back to work. I have not seen the same reaction for me. by | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub Usually at this age, making sure that your child isnt doing anything dangerous (swallowing things, climbing too high, running out in the street, biting himself or other children et cetera) is more or less enough as an ambition. In fact its more mummy than daddy, and my husband is a little bit jealous of this. 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Since he was born his grandmother ( dads mom ) has been around helping and visiting milk. What can I do to get my kid to like us both equally to keep you in their minds when...

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