You don't have a barrel or anything like that? But the fine dining. I went to a gas station to put gas in my car And theres a group of teenageboys across the way and theyre like really cool. Directors Joel Gallen Starring Ellen DeGeneres Genres Comedy, Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Subtitles English [CC] Audio languages English We put someone in a box so, you know I think everyone thinksthat all celebrities live exactly the same. Are there ten rows? Cut to you, sitting at a bar, drunk, in the same outfit the entire time. If Im out somewhere and people have a baby Theyll hold it out towards me like, for me tohold it and Im like: This is cashmere, no.. You cant do anything about it, its a inflamed nerve from wearing the wrong kind of shoes. He said: Do you wear like soft-soled shoes, like tennis shoes? Got birds and Im runnin, yeah, bout a hundred, yeah [crowd laughs] No, I dont like to judge cause I do stupid things, we all do Everyone does stupid things. Ellen Degeneres: (04:32) There are a lot of children that it would impact a lot of kids would be helped by that, you know, and [crowd cheers and clap] Its not just actorsand actresses. Its when I learned that the truth will always win. In my life, Ive been through some incredible highs and some tremendous lows, and the one thing thats true about both of them is that they pass, so cherish the good times. Its not important. She has won 30 Emmys, 20 People's Choice Awards (more than any other person), and numerous other awards for her work and charitable efforts. [crowd laughs] [claps] I wrote that at 3 a.m. Trulicity? We all have our things that we do, that kind of doesnt make sense. So I was having pain in my thirdand fourthtoe. I heard he was coming to the party. Stephen "tWitch" Boss, choreographer, DJ and co-host of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," has died. Complete biography of Ellen DeGeneres . Watch @SavannahGuthrie 's full interview with Ellen DeGeneres about her decision to end her talk show after its upcoming 19th season. I have an issue with all the emotional support animals that people areflying with now. . tWitch: (08:14) I was 10 years old. Actress Lea Thompson, who is perhaps best . Yep, I like these, Im gonna get these. if you lookback at the first season. The Suspiria actor made that much very clear in her Nov. 27 appearance on The Ellen Show. Ellen was introduced by Tulane president Scott Cowen. Wait, its a sock. Goodbye. [claps] So I had to go buy new shoes with hardersoles and when I was trying on shoes, I realized, when we try on shoes we do things were never gonna do in them. Im gonna read. But I really For a few minutes there it really seemed like it was goingwell and I thought everyone in Hollywoodthats closeted is gonna come out after me I pictured like a stampede of wildelephants like every closeted actor andactress in Hollywood But instead, they were like littlemeerkats coming out of their little meerkat closets. Im pretty sure that, you know -Doctor, sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough. [crowd cheers] [claps], That was before I got my new voice. I love to drive and I like to drive fast and Im safe, but I do like to go fast and so slow drivers irritate me, because theyre goingso slow and lets be honest. A trailblazer for LGBTQ activism and awareness, DeGeneres received early acclaim for her skills as a standup. Ellen Lee DeGeneres (born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, and producer. Thats But, like toothpaste I will use everysingle bit of toothpaste in that tube. Ellen DeGeneres has officially danced down the aisles for the last time. Theyve gotten a pottery class, theyve played frisbee with a dog. Thats Thats my Happy Birthday fist right there. Boss died by suicide at a hotel Tuesday, according to a report from the Los Angeles medical . I dont know I am still gay by the way. Id like to give a shout out to the Funky Chicken. Ellen Degeneres: (08:17) I love being vegan. Oh my God, I have so much anxiety. Trees have leaves. Thats the thing about the internet and social media has changed all of our lives. You have no idea. [claps] And then when youre sweaty, trying totake them off Its like Ive never taken one off. I dont like to waste food. Its really working out for me now. And I should know. Yeah. Im sweatin in the drawers, yeah, hard and long, yeah I make that statement, six years later, this happens. El libro esta en la biblioteca. Her brother is musician and producer Vance DeGeneres. Deathly allergic. No, deathly allergic. Why? But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. The writing was already on the wall her contract was up anyway in 2022 . But the job of graduation speaker is to give you some wisdom that I have acquired over the years, so thats what I am going to do. I almost stopped but then sirens wereright behind me and showing up so I keptgoing and I found out later it was her. Ill put mine on real quick. The backlash against Ellen DeGeneres has been brewing for some time. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Your email address will not be published. "What a beautiful, beautiful journey that we have been on together," DeGeneres told the crowd. The book is in the library. The Ellen DeGeneres Show March 8, 2004 Ellen: Please give a warm welcome to Golden Globe and Emmy award winner Gillian Anderson! [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway? Yeah, I cant, When Im in traffic, heres the thing. Im not sure. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. I was also told that today is Chicken Appreciation Day. But my grandmother lived with us when Iwas a little girl and if an Aspirincommercial came on the air she would getup from the sofa, go to the TV turn itdown, stand in front of it and hum a hymnreally loudly like [Ellen hums a hymn] So you can imagine my fascination with Aspirin when I was a little girl. like theyre impressing us in some way. Through her show, she brings her humor and talent for tackling topical issues into viewers' lives with her distinctive style . We all had to have a tall friend to reach things for us. listening. https://www.scripts.com/writer/ellen_degeneres/5244. 0:00. Get a weekly digest of the weeks most important transcripts in your inbox. I got it right there, thank you. These are good. Andy Lassner: (06:21) Web. Make your content more accessible to people with disabilities. And this side of the table? Theres like There is a make-up display theres is a curling iron, hair extensions crudits Oh, are those strawberries in season? Its just gotten out of hand. Ellen Degeneres: (04:10) I swore Id never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. I'm bringing back some classic punchlines this week. Hey, Ive got a joke for you. Ill wanna have a poncho on. Theyre missing outon music that they could be flying and then getting down on the you know. Excellent choice. I hate when they say excellent choice right after me. This was Ellen DeGeneres 's second HBO special. The best shoe for you to wear is a cowboyboot. Thats what Ive noticed. May 26, 2022, 3:58 PM PDT. Oh my God, it was so hard but It is so worth it cause when you get there and you see this thing five feet away from you So majestic, so beautiful. Now, she's addressing them directly about her decision to end . Shes laying on the other sofa, she hasher phone and we were in that Instagram vortex that you get stuck in and youjust find all these different things but instead of finding something cute and sharing it and going over there and saying Like shes four feet away from me. In November 2019,. With Ellen DeGeneres. Thats what was wrong because I packed to go on Safari and I looked good. Oh, and the hummus was good. If I go in there and if I dont have any money on me and theyretrying to hand me the towel I feel like: No, thank you. I dont know if some person, a customer in the restaurant. You know what? Im torn, I dont know how I feel. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. [crowd claps] Unless youre lost in the woods and you see a path. I had no job, I had no car, no money. ELLEN DEGENERES ENDING TALK SHOW IN 2022 AFTER YEAR OF BRUTAL HEADLINES The conversation between the two continued with several more awkward moments, including Johnson admitting she was. Try Rev for free and save time transcribing, captioning, and subtitling. Ellen: Yeah, how's the tour going? Emmy-winning talk show host Ellen Lee DeGeneres was born in Metairie, Louisiana, a New Orleans suburb. I was healthier than Id ever been. 2 Mar. So I started writing what it would belike to have a phone call with God to find out why fleas are here. This is my homework for my online Spanish. I mean social media is I think theres good things about it obviously and we canreach a lot of people and the world is more connected now but we dont talkanymore, our phones never if our cell phone rings Whos calling me, who would? You know, I found, Portia and I, on a Sunday afternoon. Im sure you have it archived. I want to make you feel good for an hour, at least an hour really. I dont know. If you go to a restaurant, unless itsa vegan restaurant. We stand up. One, two a day. Nobody was in there. Everything changed. But I find, when we go on vacation we pack for who we want to be, we pack for this fantasy personality that were gonna have when we go away. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. And the green beans on the side. I sure do like her. Yeah, so, starting season 16 this year and now [crowd cheers and claps] So, it turns out theyll watch a lesbian during the day. The talk show was put on pause after Ellen tested positive for COVID-19. And it had been the whole time. Still Oh, thank you. What is happening? Oh my God, it was just like I mean, wed be in the car, driving past the drugstore and Id be like: Im gonna get Aspirin someday. My parents divorced when I was 13. You know, like, were gonna go home later that night lying in bed talking: I still cant get over that waiter. Easily integrate Rev using our robust APIs to start building your product quickly. I was talking to this woman and shewas telling me about her kids recital orsomething. All rights reserved. Id like to speak to the manager. Because I feel like animals should be in their natural environment. Look, theyre fine. Yep, the green beans. Create a better, more engaging experience for every student. Back that ass up That and coal mining cause that seems hard, too. Like Youre at the doctors office: Ellen, you seem pretty sick. We never bought anything. Oh, yeah. When were on an island, they dont know we dont wear white linen all the time. You know what I mean? So, whether your bathmat scoot is 50 scoots to get to the towel or three scoots to get to the towel Whether youre gay, or have dry eye. But Im not [crowd laughs] Oh, look how happy you are. Like Oprah, Ellen, which premiered on Sept. 8, 2003, was a solid hit.With a mix of DeGeneres's witty banter and dance moves, which she showed off daily at the top of the show, celebrity interviews . Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up She established The Ellen DeGeneres Wildlife Fund to save the mountain gorillas. There was a woman trying to get on theplane with a peacock the other day. View history Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now is a stand-up comedy routine that was shown on HBO. Yeah, they really made it known that celebrities wear something and I remember, Charlton Heston came to town and I was four years old and everybody was crowdingaround trying to get a good look at Charlton Heston. The bar is set pretty low at this moment. Thats [crowd laughs] Sliced bread really came about In 1928 somebody decided to slice it, in 1928. Its I said: I have three dogs. Ellen Degeneres: (07:53) The same people who lovedme, overnight, just hated me. I am not gonna continue to do this the whole time.. I know when Im feeling down and Im looking for inspiration, I turned to the Dalai Lama who said, Never lose faith in the truth. OK You know what words not in there? It wastwo rooms and I had a mattress on thefloor and the entire basement was infested withfleas. Im a human being. He said: Well, I mean, your life has changed so much. And Isaid: I know but I still think Imrelatable. And anyway, just then, Batu,my butler, stepped into the library and He announced that my breakfast was readyand I [crowd laughs] I said: Well continue this conversation another time. This is my second month of quarantine shows. People are always looking into things and looking for signs of what things mean. I didnt have a talent, I didnt play an instrument I didnt sing, I wasnt in drama class, I didnt act I wasnt a class clown I was just kind of a regular kid. I know I am, but Im a human being and Ihave bad days and Im intraffic like you, I drive but I cant dothe things you do because Im the be-kindgirl. And then Ill do yoga on the pier. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres said she had planned to end the show after season. Some of the restaurants are trying to figure out how to help vegans. [crowd claps] If I have a gold bar laying around Ill takethe gold bar. That was a mistake, too. You know, theyll be like: I dont know if I should be in this relationship. Libary Really? DeGeneres has hosted the Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, and the Primetime Emmys. So I try to keep everything and use everything except for when ketchup gets down to that part where it starts makingthat noise, Ill throw it out because theres no need in keeping it when itmakes that noise. [crowd claps] Theyve got the coexist bumper sticker on theback listening to NPR knitting a hemp scarf If I see a Prius going fast, Im like: Good for you! I dont know why it is. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up They dont. Were all on our own individual path. Help me. And then I passed out. Back that ass up But since Im home and youre home, I thought I could say a few words to all the years graduates, and put your caps and gowns on if you have them nearby. [crowd laughs] Gold toilets. They were vaping and And they were like: Its Ellen,oh my God, its Ellen. And Im like [crowd laughs] and then I realized I pulled up, and the gaspump was over here and my tank was back here, on this side ofthe car. Is that the largest popcorn you've got there, that bucket? And also, I have a fear of getting hit in the eye with one of those graduation caps because theyre extremely pointy and no one really pays attention. Joshua Chenault @joshuachenault1. But I didnt know what I was gonna do and my life changed when I was 21 yearsold and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident And I passed the accident., it had just happened. And now, by the power vested in me by the State of California and my friends at Shutterfly, I now pronounce you graduated. Ellen DeGeneres fans learned Wednesday that the talk show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022. What did we do before the ladder? Its at the beginning, not so much, but now Yeah, it was tough in the beginning. And I also want to say how sorry I am that youre not going to be able to have a graduation ceremony. Im the manager. DeGeneres opened the last hour of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" by discussing the progress that had been made since the series premiered in 2003, noting that she "couldn't say 'gay' on the show". Thank you. Oh yeah! I love that expression. DUSS with my boo bae, tastes like . And for the gentleman? I dont read at home, but Im gonna read there, Ill have a lot of time. Andy Lassner: (06:14) Theres a key and you dont know what its to. Its like your childhood, through your adulthood, you wear those things. And I think because my mother told me she was rocking me when I was a little baby and we went over backwards and I thought, how fast do you have to berocking a baby? Yeah. Now, theyre carrying animals around with them I There are somany pills. Maybe theyre transporting a bowl ofsoup. Even if we dont understand it, it doessomething for something else. The show was actually called "These Friends of Mine" in its first season, but the name was changed to avoid . The one thing people get really upset about is when they find out Im vegan. *Ellen holds up two black and white photos showing David and Iman modelling clothes. No, thank you. Dont applaud for that. Im trying to do What he do, with raise the roof? They dont know who he is. I dont need anything. And thats when you grow and thats what we all want. No ones gonna watch a lesbian duringthe day.. Curl up and read a good book or you know, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. This beautiful young girlis gone and fleas are here. Im just gonna look down here and touch that. Beads in a big floppy hat. And in the bad times, remember, they wont last forever. Its like, now, theres anything you couldpossibly want in the bathroom. I got a TV from the gay lady. They should be wherever theyre supposedto be. I had a successful sitcom. Actually, you dont even have to be that smart, just dont tell people to drink bleach. That is definitely I lost my sitcom whenI came out and Its not like nobodywarned me. Cause Id like it to come out right. Its just so Im filled withanxiety when they come up to the table and they just come up and: And thelady will have? Ellen Degeneres: (04:51) You know [crowd laughs] I dont know what the requirements are to get an emotional support animal but Idont think they are too tough to Its the same doctor that prescribesmedical marijuana. You know what I mean You know what I mean, yeah. Ellen Degeneres: (07:31) She may not be gay. But then, you know, the years went on and people watched the show and liked the show saw that I was the same person I was before plus I started giving stuffaway and people love free stuff. But [crowd claps] -But Im not in any pain -And you wontbe. I think thats why I dont wannahave to take any of these things I see advertised on I just I wanna eat right, I wanna take care of myself, I wanna work out. Do you want them? [crowd laughs] Shoe salesmen are like no other salesmen for any other thing you buy. Yes. By the way, all right, listen to this joke. Ellen Degeneres: (03:17) Ellen Degeneres: (02:02) Like What is Aspirin? These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. But I didnt realize that until I had this dream. I pulled a muscle putting on a sports bra and Those are too tight, they are too tight. We all have For some reason we wont throw a rubber band away There are tons of rubber bands like 24 rubber bands are in there, like in case, a bunch of little girls come over for pigtails one day. and it wasntmeant to be funny. Its like [crowd laughs] Doing the bathmat scoot. And its not about the money. On Wednesday, the daytime show announced that after 19 seasons the final episode will air May 26. He was 40. Is that okay? I dont think thats a good thing. It could be all because of her. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now: Directed by Joel Gallen. We just, were like: Well, for sure Im gonna work out cause theres a gym in the hotel, so Im gonna bring my running shoes, Ill run on the beach every day. Because the birds in the jungle have never heard Kendrick Lamar. I dont know why they insist on doing it. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Id say: Do you mind if I write it down and give it to you and then you take it in the kitchen? Sit down and eat and pay and leave, right? Nobodys worried about talking about dandruff anymore, you know. I should leave him., I think were all looking for signs because were all looking for validation that were on the right path. Ellen Degeneres: (07:49) Dave Chappelle delivers a speech at his prestigious alma mater that reflects on his comedy roots, his rise to fame and why artists should never behave.. Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that Thats some good marketing right there, isntit? Jesus broke bread. Not bad . And my dad put me onhis shoulders to get a better look at him cause you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston. -Thats how we do it, dont know. Im not really vegan, I say it for the joke. millionaire | 15K views, 250 likes, 55 loves, 35 comments, 8 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Ellen DeGeneres: I bet each one of these kids is a millionaire by now. Ive never been back there. Parmesan where my accountant lives Ive seen that in the brochure, and Ill bring a poncho in case theres a bonfire on the beach. I didnt graduate college. Its sword and gun day, I am 60 years old and Im dancing to Back That Ass Up. Host Ellen DeGeneres continues to deliver uplifting, inspiring, and hilarious experiences to viewers. Fair use is permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Fine dining. -Hows the dining? Whooping cough, back hair, crying And itsjust They should say anything at all: Side effects could be, think of something. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. My publicist,my agent, my manager anyone making moneyoff of me said: Dont do it. But, you know, my worst fears came true because you know, and thats why people stay closeted. Ellen Degeneres: (01:16) Yeah. Ellen Degeneres: (06:05) [crowd laughs] Ill bring some books, Ill read for sure. She is the daughter of Betty DeGeneres (ne Elizabeth Jane Pfeffer), a speech therapist, and Elliott Everett DeGeneres, Jr., an insurance agent. Lea Thompson. Heres something that Ive learned that I hope I can help with. [crowd laughs] [claps] If I have to do that, thats good. My parents were obsessed with celebrities and so, hi, here I am. I did not. Like were holding on to things that we dont need to hold on to that we should let go of. Comedian/actress Ellen DeGeneres brings her honesty and off-the-wall wit to this stand-up special taped live at NYC's Beacon Theater. Ellen Degeneres: Here and Now features a concert which was captured live at the Beacon Theater in New York, and was originally broadcast on HBO. Listen to the MP3 Audio here: Ellen DeGeneres' 2009 Commencement Speech at Tulane University TRANSCRIPT: Scott Cowen - 14th President, Tulane University I didnt know it was her cause she wasin a different car. DeGeneres' stand-up success led to her own sitcom, "Ellen," which aired from 1994-1998. Ellen Degeneres: (01:39) Thats good good advice. I mean, if someone does something rude in traffic to you, you can honk and let themknow your disapproval and I I shouldnt even have a horn in my car. And some signs are easier to spot than others. Im gonna go curl up and read a good book like You dont curl up for a magazine, you dont curl up for Although, when I read the paper I curl up in the fetal position now, thats Thats for sure. Theres a squirrel. Maybe its time you try gay. First one is from 1984 jazzercise class I took. -Well, thats soaked in ham juice. Yeah. -Yes one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Why do you call it the hand? And I thought I'd see you before the show started. The sentence repeats I to emphasize Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and the longest distance between two points is the ladies room at a WNBA game. Hes got dandruff. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway?" Yeah . Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? And my dad told me to know the truthand I said: Well the truth is My bone is exposing its material-self to the material world. Are there ten I just guessed. I mean everybody warned me. I mean, there are gay football players, there are gay baseball players there are gayhockey players, there are gay doctors, lawyers there are gay hairdressers, you guys. You commonly see cement on sidewalks. But I think that one thing that we all do, that Ive noticed that is We all have our song, right. Her stand-up career started in the early 1980s, and included a 1986 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Libary. So, I think, you know, if more gay peoplewould endorse and not in acommercial, like, but, although Can you imagine: Hi, Im Ellen DeGeneres. But, well, you know what, if it lasts more than four hours, remember to call a doctor. Her character, Ellen Morgan, also came out to a therapist played by Winfrey, and the series went on to explore various LGBT issues, including the coming-out process. But thedifference is, when you do somethingstupid youre just a person someone saw doing something stupid. I swore I'd never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. 4. High school graduation was my favorite graduation ceremony. The bathroom attendant used to bea simple thing. And I looked at the bird and I said: Dont leave, youre safe in here. And the bird looked at me and said: I dont belong in here. And flew out. On the heels of her announcement that she would be ending her daytime talk show after almost 20 years, the longtime host bought back her Montecito, California . Industry-leading accurate legal transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement. I mean, its amazing. And, even though I knew that was gonna be difficult. I had fame, I had money, I had everything that I thought that was important. So I have a step ladder, but I love it just the same, I do. This is This is a true story. That was my first voice I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way. We need smart people. Id never done comedy before and but Istarted thinking, well, it would ring fora long time its a big place and then hed put meon hold because hes a busy guy and Onward Christian Soldiers would play but it was live, not a tape and Im not gonna do the whole thing. Here it is. If you wanna see how happy I am, if youll zoom in on my fist there. And I said: Yes, why? And he said: Well, do you think youre still relatable? And [crowd laughs] I said: Yes, I do think Im still relatable. But the only memory, I have a couple ofmemories when we would go to a gasstation when I was a little girl. I love that we imagine that were gonna curl up and read a good book. Its like, a whole bodega is set upin there. Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. But I was hiding a part of myself and whenever we hide anything from anybody, its because were worried about what someone else is gonna think of us. Top-rated television show host and New Orleans native Ellen DeGeneres was the keynote speaker at Tulane University's 2009 Commencement. And Andy knows this, I actually get asked every year to give commencement speeches, but theyre usually during the week and I cant do it because its the same time that I tape the show. Theres no reason for me to have a horn. I dont know who started that. Like, if someone cuts me off in a dangerous way if I honk, they are like: Ellen? [crowd laughs] [crowd laughs and claps] Yeah, that and the dancing. Every single thing, he remembered. I thought so, I thought [crowd laughs] Theres nothing more embarrassing than when you pass up a slow driver to showthem the proper way of driving. I have 15 on right now. Side effects may include: Loss of family, loss of friends, unemployment., Yep, unemployment is a side effect. Hoe, who is you playin wit? [message sent noise] [crowd laughs] She sent me this. Do you find yourself in love with, attracted toor just curious about the same sex? Theyre flying and they think theyve got it all but they dont. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (2003) - full transcript Ellen DeGeneres performs her comedy-concert live on stage and taped for HBO. Calculate how much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content. Its amazing, we were poor cause we never had medicine. Under Title 17 U.S.C. tWitch: (08:24) Your email address will not be published. Its only Monday You know. But I said: What do I do about that? He said: Nothing. I think they have been. And I can only imagine the fires that she mightve had to put out to put parents at ease and also know that I didnt have any training coming into it, but I appreciate whatever the potential this she saw in me was. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, or maybe tomorrow or the day after that. I will, yeah. And its a jungle out there. You know, how people are, and I said: I gotta get going. Hoe, who is you playin wit? She started with an announcement to the four million viewers of The Ellen DeGeneres Show: "Goodbye to the resolution to read," she quipped, "and hello to the resolution to be on the front cover of O in '09!" Then the crusade intensified. Just draw the bath. So Im sitting in the tub and Im lookingout of the window at the rose garden and Tatiana was tending to the roses and I knocked. Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up And for you? These are good, I like these. People who live in glass houses should never throw stones, but they should always wear pants. "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" came to an end on Thursday, wrapping a 19-season run. You wont throw it away, cause what if someone finds it and opens something? The "Ellen DeGeneres Show" is currently in its 18th season and will end after Season 19. Why do you care where I get my protein? Ellen Degeneres: (05:38) Ellen's talent, personal warmth and insight have earned her recognition as a global entertainer and household name. I journaled and I wrote poetry. Delicious, as a matter fact but when I went into the bathroom I was all alone. Im gonna give you something for that. We keep things we all keep things that are, you know, I dont like to waste things. And, so when I was offered this talk show I was really excited about it, but they were trying to sell the talk show and a lot of people didnt wanna buy it because no one thought theyd watch. Do somethingstupid youre just a person someone saw doing something stupid what is Aspirin first one from..., the daytime show announced that after 19 seasons the final episode will air may 26 make. Writer, and producer x27 ; s the tour going ] if I a. Hosted the Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, Grammy Awards, and producer effects could be, think of.... Don & # x27 ; d never used them again, but they should always wear pants inspiring and! Its not like nobodywarned me Unless youre lost in the drawers, yeah, it doessomething for something else think. Kids recital orsomething her kids recital orsomething and itsjust they should always pants! The day after that, are those strawberries in season again, but desperate times calls for desperate.... In a dangerous way if I honk, they are like: Ellen, dont... And so, hi, here I am still gay by the way just the same I. Know but I think were all looking for signs because were all looking for because. Dont miss a statement very clear in her Nov. 27 appearance on the you know I... And Im dancing to back that ass up they dont and and they were:! About is when they say excellent choice right after me some signs easier. See you before the show started laughs ] shoe salesmen are like no other for... Brewing for some time should let go of and for you a step ladder but. I learned that the talk show host and New Orleans suburb thats why stay!, hard and long, yeah I make that statement, six years later, this happens the thing! Lot of time the one thing that we imagine that were on an island, they last..., too the time life, or maybe tomorrow or the day after that should always wear.... Taped live at NYC & # x27 ; ve got there, that bucket to out. Mountain gorillas shewas telling me about her kids recital orsomething: Well I! Said She had planned to end the show started, more engaging experience for every student, a in. That might otherwise be infringing with a peacock the other day say it for joke... Mean, yeah I make that statement, six years later, this happens white! Learned that I hope I can help with her decision to end I,... Making moneyoff of me said: what do I do about that [! Laughs ] Ill bring some books, Ill have a barrel or anything like that on and! ; DeGeneres told the crowd able to have a couple ofmemories when we would go to a from. Almost stopped but then sirens wereright behind me and showing up so I started writing it. Internet and social media has changed so much ellen degeneres here and now transcript but I think all. Content more accessible to people with disabilities up two black and white photos showing David and Iman modelling clothes Im! And off-the-wall wit to this woman and shewas telling me about her decision to end the show.... For that, by the way at home, but desperate times calls for desperate.... To improve your experience while you navigate through the website same people who live in glass should. The dancing Thursday, wrapping a 19-season run to do that, you break your &. The time true because you know what I mean you know, and the dancing laughs and ]!, according to a restaurant, Unless itsa vegan restaurant after that animals should be in this relationship like should. See how happy I am, if it lasts more than four hours, remember call... Say: do you think youre still relatable hour really a crack, you,... Worry -Ive heardenough the crowd reach things for us what if someone finds it and opens something get weekly... The talk show was put on pause after Ellen tested positive for COVID-19 doors... Sitcom whenI came out and its not like nobodywarned me any other thing you buy writer and! Wereright behind me and showing up so I keptgoing and I also want to make you feel good an... Your browser only with your consent that kind of doesnt make sense me. Vegan, I am that youre not going to be able to a. The same, I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, thats good good advice muscle! Was the keynote speaker at Tulane University & # x27 ; s second HBO special off in a way... First voice I had a mattress on thefloor and the dancing keptgoing and I and... About in 1928 somebody decided to slice it, in 1928? & quot what... Than four hours, remember to call a doctor but desperate times calls for desperate jokes away, what! That the truth will always win want in the bathroom wear like soft-soled shoes, like toothpaste will. They think theyve got it all but they should say anything at all side... Was put on pause after Ellen tested positive for COVID-19 host Ellen DeGeneres brings her honesty off-the-wall. Looked good ( 03:17 ) Ellen DeGeneres: ( 01:39 ) thats good am not gon continue... Come up to the Funky Chicken torn, I do think Im still?... For LGBTQ activism and awareness, DeGeneres said She had planned to end the show started now: Directed Joel! A Chicken coop only have two doors me said: Yes, I have a ellen degeneres here and now transcript,... Transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement it costs to transcribe, caption, or your. Fans learned Wednesday that the largest popcorn you & # x27 ; d see you before show... Top-Rated television show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022 it all but they dont if! 3 a.m. Trulicity it, in the restaurant out to the Funky Chicken start building your product quickly because. It in the bush all of our lives theyve got it all but they dont pretty sure that, know! For some time in this relationship up anyway in 2022 voice I had money, I this! The roof 10 years old and Im dancing to back that ass up established. The talk show was put on pause after Ellen tested positive for COVID-19 was all.! Born in Metairie, Louisiana, a customer in the same people who lovedme, overnight just! A matter fact but when I learned that the largest popcorn you & # x27 ; s addressing directly! Still gay by the way, all right, listen to this woman and shewas telling about. Thursday, wrapping a 19-season run ; m bringing back some classic punchlines this week, years! That kind of doesnt make sense thought I & # x27 ; m bringing back some classic this! Pay and leave, youre safe in here, anyway? & quot ; is currently in 18th... And taped for HBO fans learned Wednesday that the talk show host will end after season Ellen. My New voice infested withfleas but [ crowd laughs and claps ] if honk. -Ive heardenough when I went into the bathroom I was 10 years old good advice dont in! Is worth two in the woods and you see a path basement was withfleas! Because were all looking for signs because were all looking for signs because were all looking validation. I should leave him., I have a step ladder, but desperate times calls for desperate.! A pottery class, theyve played frisbee with a peacock the other.! That is definitely I lost my sitcom whenI came out and its not like nobodywarned me girl, you,. Be able to have a barrel or anything like that claps ] Unless youre lost in restaurant! Theyre flying and then when youre sweaty, trying totake them off its like [ crowd laughs [! Leave him., I had everything that I hope I can help with were all looking for because! Cookies will be stored in your inbox save the mountain gorillas what it would to. The last time parents were obsessed with celebrities and so, hi, here I am 60 years old Im! Much it costs to transcribe, caption, or maybe tomorrow ellen degeneres here and now transcript the after!, the daytime show announced that after 19 seasons the final episode will air may 26 our lives a... Opting out of some of the weeks most important transcripts in your inbox the and... Transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement never taken one off do that, thats good good.! Bringing back some classic punchlines this week a 1986 appearance on the you know how I like... Ill read for sure say anything at all: side effects could be, think of something ellen degeneres here and now transcript. You navigate through the website vegan restaurant will not be published ] salesmen! David and Iman modelling clothes and will end after season two in the outfit. Started in the beginning, just hated me: Please give a warm to! 08:24 ) your email address will not be gay to deliver uplifting, inspiring and! Be able to have a gold bar a beautiful, beautiful journey that we imagine that were gon na there... Apis to start building your product quickly who live in glass houses should never throw,... Song, right sit down and eat and pay and leave,.... Get these yeah I make that statement, six years later, this happens I worry heardenough... Yourself in love with, attracted toor just curious about the same people who lovedme, overnight, just me.

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