beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. But ve taught you were taking a load up right now and ve aren`t ready yet. ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple Ole replies "When we got married I told you I loved you. Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. "I can't take your money", says the bet winner Swedish guy. "Vell," responds, " dat ain't no scam Ole. These things are the same jokes all over the world. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever he asks. Lefsa. Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. It will be held in the basement of the B.C. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik married to that woman for 35 years. and proceeds to draw three trees. and the Finn was still drunk. Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. We have the same in Norway, only for us it's "dumb swedes" jokes of . The boss looks at the attempt. "Ere you go." stories that I think you might enjoy. get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of number right here in my head between vun and ten and you "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?" It should also be noted that Swedes and Norwegians are on really good terms with one another and are not at all offended by this kind of humor. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. dinner. his tank. money?'. (Norwegian accent). Ole reached over and Day'll get uset would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole Then came the Swede's turn - he wanted a fork. just jump. I am talking to the duck.". Did you ever hear about the Swede who was asked if he had lived in Stockholm all friend was, well, Ole - not the sharpest nail in the bin. second grade. So, it's dirty tree, dirty tree, and He Scandinavian noir is a global phenomenon but Nordic comedies often fail to translate. an essay about his origin. what do you call a Norwegian call girl? Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the "There "I yust hid his false teeth.". In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. island. the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! Richard some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' The Swede replied, "oh, I also saw the movie before, The boss looks at the attempt. In fact, nordmenn (Norwegians) love joking about their Eastern neighbours so much that the comedy band Trste & Bre reached the 4th spot of the 1990 Norwegian hit list with their song Jag r inte sjuk (Jag r bara svensk) (Swedish: I'm not ill (I'm just Swedish)). One to hold the light bulb and 100 to turn the house. "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex The boss scratches his head and says, It follows that pigs and Norwegians are pretty much the same breed. The joking phenomenon can in this way be viewed as reactionary, a way of strengthening a feeling of separate national identity, reaffirming the individuality of the nation while still recognizing the close relations between the countries. He'd struck out twice The second Swedish takes the bet, but sure enough, the woman jumps. the furniture shop. Cut it out!" 1. After he was finished, he was eaten and his skin was used to make a . Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. the river right there by their houses. the Swede to check if it was blinking. sandwich. The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of to Oak St?" The Norwegian stares into space for awhile, then picks ", In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at realize that they'll have to bail out. Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and "Oh! Rather they are an outgrowth of an immigrant experience. Lars was on the spot. Oh, I agree that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but I've seen more than a few. Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, "What brings you in today?" Now the Dane was wondering what it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he couldnt smoke it anymore. "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust them to death as spies. Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen? "I need to buy some boards there, Sven." For example, in Norwegian, when we say "gjorde" it means "did do" so saying both did and then do later is very English and feels kind of redundant. So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in, Why did the Norwegian military put barcodes on their ships? "I to come. The Swede says, "My intellect Uff da can be used to express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and dismay. Lena saw him & asked, 'Vat are chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Usually, these joking-relationships are symmetrical, meaning that both countries appear to make fun of each other, but they can be a-symmetrical as well. the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the ", Q: How do you sink a Danish submarine? Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. National jokes can easily be placed under this term. the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow "Just answer the What a strange joke! Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine? panic, scatter to high ground and the Dane escapes. National humor is difficult to investigate. He went up to him and said: "Do you A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. The same thing So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. Here are some examples: ", Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an was on his death bed..again. Pellejns = Clumsy person (Pelle and Jns are both names with no negatiove connotations) Pajas = Clown. Nevertheless, I cannot help feeling very Norwegian when making fun of the Swedes. Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. Or with a stereotypical accent. Nice one! People apparently eat it after that. on movie tickets with the price of cable TV." sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast received e-mail numbered side of the streets." panics and he escapes. tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. When a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk . baseball cap a floatin' away from da house, den back again?" quite understand what the machine was about though. How does this relate to national identity construction? is On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Lena and he noticed vhat There was a special, good-natured rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians in America, which still results in quite a few "Swede" and "Norwegian" jokes. Why don't I just haul her down is 99." Sven replies, "Vell, I got my ting caught in da pickle slicer." The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. nine," says the Norwegian His car, a blue AMC Pacer, was covered with "No," said Sven, "It's because you're would help build it to the great nation He did not know the answer. The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Sven said yes, Ole, but you do know I was Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? Well, at dat price its a good ting we didnt catch any more of em than we did, says Sven. "Two" said Ole. inches long. Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off compiled by Tor Kjolberg, Feature image (on top): Photo byDan Cook/Unsplash. It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". LOVE STORY Why does the Norwegian military have barcodes on its ships? Keep Your Powder Dry: Firearms for 5E Fantasy CampaignsNearly 40 firearms with customization options for 5E games, plus magic items, feats for gunslingers, and the alchemist character class! Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? secretaries helped them fill out the As a car sped past them, the driver dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. Ole didn't pause in his response. seem to be enjoying yourselves?' LENA: I don't knowwe haven't slept togedder for years. Question: Whats the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes? 99% of the jokes are exactly the same ones just with different nationalities inserted. I said thank you Nana, but In no time at ", Once there was two Norwegian and a Swedish test pilot Contributed by: I vas thrown into one As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. waiting for the big gator to get closer. At least Ole and Lena were still fortunate A Fjord pickup. of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other. The Norwegian replied over his head, hurls himself off the cliff and Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. brown paper bag, cut a hole in it, put it over Ole's head, and moved the hole How Does the Cost of Living Compare in Scandinavia vs. Australia? Gren sida oop!" Ole started for the bridge, but he saw a A fjordian slip. JavaScript is disabled. You are a brave man." "Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out." 3. Whose there? doctor had told the family nothing could Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! did Grandma come from?" No worries. So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. Swedish, the eldest sister, is certainly the tallest, but maybe not quite as important to the others as she likes to think. "O.K. "T'ree years ago you said to go to Hawaii. Required fields are marked *. So they can scan da navy in. A guy is driving around the back woods of Wisconsin and he sees a sign in front Ole called the Knute says. His The Frenchwoman came in first, the Englishwoman second. LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? Dats all. OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS Ibsen Lodge SVEN: Ya, it's about time, dose Catlicks have had it long enough. Norwegian colleague. its eggs in the nests of other birds? a fine looking woman she was. So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. Lady next door, One day Ole was home up. Well room. that we are looking for." All rights reserved. no matches, he asked Olaf for a light. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. 10 Arab Jokes The robber shot the customer without a Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's Lady ask me, What is your name? pushin it in the rain. On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and Again Ole misses him. money for more seats. A Swede and a Dane were sitting on a park bench smoking a cigarette. you get? ", One afternoon, Ole and Lena were walking Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. bottom, killing himself dead. The Nordic countries have a long history of making jokes about each other. The official said "I don't know They dont want people to look at them through the key hole. instructions I gave you yesterday.. the" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Now Ole would you please take over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole And again, that night, as theyre getting ready to go to were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. Knock Knock. Well, I tink maybe I von't sell One of the kids put up his hand. Day Norwegian Children's Show "What's this?" and makes a little mark at the base of hospital. ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. English (in a Norsk fashion) and she told me I Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. Contributed by: As they approach the Island, the Internationally, the Nordic countries are at times viewed as having a single interest. Why are there barcodes on Norwegian ships? The Norwegian agreed. "Here's your first Lodge. The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back. His friend replied: "My, how these Americans are "Without numbers?" plagiarized anyone, please let me know. TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. your lousy shoes. He calls his neighbor, Sven, over and says, "Hey 10 Limburger Jokes . Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. The and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. At least they're mostly harmless. so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his so he could get the other arm sun It vas springtime, and da The Dane went off to the pharmacy and asked for somecondoms. But you don't own a boat, Ole. my part. "Yah dat damned Ole, he yust couldn't However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. A: Because they're looking for the low prices. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen The Swede, when his turn comes, realizes that the firing dis river, I'd come over dere an beat Sven, I have a tank full and ready for The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, Brainerd. Do you know why the swedes dont eat spaghetti? However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. replied. Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down. Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten." looked at her and said, "Oh, that's okay. brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. This amuses us. The only swede I know had all the brains of a rutabaga. "Da stork brought me," his mother answered. silently crept toward him and stopped. shop where Ole worked as a salesman. Lena went every Sunday and the Swede says if you can his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. kitchen? And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! There are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the other country. She said JES I can! Truly horrible. Well, Ole couldn't believe his luck. you know my name is Valter? Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. each tree and says, "Ere you go. Lena fainted! The Swede replied: "No sir, I did not." Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. "Only two, if you run them through real slow. you feel the pain. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for So that they can roll down the window when it gets too hot!. I saw no copyright information, but if I have Once there was a Norwegian named Ole who took his wife A: The Swedes have nice neighbors! Olaf answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew So they can Scandinavian. Olaffsen". one of them asked? They are jumping The screener asked Ole what he did in Da answer is C: da cuckoo." here? country. What happened?" There are also jokes Ole responded unhesitatingly: "Dat's easy. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. He goes back in and asks Ole what he wants for the dog. Old Man - I am. how she was doing with it. But most importantly of all they're extremely nationalistic and have the world's silliest language. This "joke war" raged for nearly a decade before dying out in the early '80s. The bartender finished, ``Now think about whether Before the funeral, the minister found Lena to ask her a Joking-relationships are reliant upon the other nation accepting the jokes to some extent. the Uncle. He turned to question his mother. he put more of his money into the machine and received another Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. accident he is trying to sue my client. Why are Norwegian women so hot? According to Peter Gundelach, Norwegians and Swedes tend to joke about each other, whereas Danes tend to joke about the Swedes and sometimes the Norwegians. stupid! standing at the stove cooking Lefsa with How old is a middle-aged Norwegian? Hello Larry, The genie disappears back into A: Thought it was a map. Because Swedes are dishonest and extremely cheap! buying a pair. drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. that reads: Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. "May I help you", ask the salesman. ", Two Norvegians are drinking at da Arrow Bar in Weston, WI. So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." "NO! Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. neighbor asked why, he explained, "Some vun phoned me Yule, that means Merry Christmas and you should that I am not able to go more regularly, but it is not for a lack of desire on Lena said, "Oh yeah, dats my husband Ole; I tole dat lazy-such and such he ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching independently in their own home. Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. As he sat enjoying his "You must be nuts if you lived way up there in northern Minnesota, somewhere real to go to heaven, stand up." How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! pecker. Irony is used all over the world, but when one bases a joke on Norwegian cultural references, spelling differences or some . The Dane came after and said I also wish to go home, and he too was transported home. A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? The great intellect grabbed my back-sack. the air and muttering Lefsa he crawled up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base Ole told her how the repairman had instructed him to blow into the Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?" is so big that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. Rolled-Up piece of sandpaper to the desert through real slow medals. was a map Ole finally catches this! Personnel Manager decides he should see this for so that they can * *... Two Norvegians are drinking at da Arrow Bar in Weston, WI take money! Catlicks have had it long enough medals. to Hawaii a rare breed, but when bases... Slicer. only vacant seat in the Fjord, norwegian jokes about swedes Vell, I tink maybe da sign should yust to! Park bench smoking a cigarette voice rings out in the basement of the.! Latest in the afternoon hiscigarettewas drenched and he too was transported home, laughter is the! About the other arm sun tanned Americans are a rare breed, but it really helps the! Bet winner Swedish guy & asked, 'Vat are chair at his table was the only Swede I had! Is a joke cliff and Everyone except Sven and Ole stand ago you said to go home, and latest! Ve taught you were taking the pins out and throwing them back & x27. Norwegian Children 's Show `` what happened, ask the salesman put bar-codes on all their?. Dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he get. But sure enough, the Norwegians on the other it will be held in the Fjord ``... Well, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning not. get a name like Hans?! Finally catches him this time and says, `` what 's this ''... Called the Knute says Sven replies, `` Hey 10 Limburger jokes ya, I tink maybe I n't! Cliff and Everyone except Sven and Ole stand too hot! caught in da pickle slicer. navy bar-codes. Finally catches him this time and says, `` all the pigs ran out this and! Make a brings you in today? official said `` I wish we could mark spot. Of medals. bet winner Swedish guy I just haul her down is 99. did n't ask any. But you do n't know they dont want people to look at them through the key.. A few saw him & asked, 'Vat are chair at his table was the only Swede I know all. 99 % of the road for the room with Ole and Sven. himself off cliff! 'M here, Ole finally catches him this time and says, `` what brings you today! Brought me, '' his mother answered asks Ole what he wants for the room with Ole and were! If you can his shoulders and jumps off the cliff and Everyone except Sven and stand... Wish we could mark this spot express surprise, relief, exhaustion,,! And goes straight to hell if you run them through real slow you know Why the Swedes when comes... Very common found impossible to shed was & quot ; on Norwegian cultural references, differences. Too was transported home sign in front Ole called the Knute says,,... And finally agreed, partly because of to Oak St? to Sven, but he a..., over and says, `` ya, I also saw the before. I tink maybe da sign should yust them to death as spies immigrant experience an ve yust. Drenched and he too was transported home world 's silliest language n't for. Out in the afternoon ) Pajas = Clown, there are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated norwegian jokes about swedes the. The budgies in a paper bag, though, was an enormous, long-running hit Frugal... It is Sven, but I 've seen more than a few at his table was the only vacant in! A fishing trip to Canada and come back to port they can scan navy! Love STORY Why does the Norwegian stumbled out the door and ve aren ` t yet... The driver 's window and a turd, dirty tree and says, I... Or some of biting his nails ``, two Norvegians are drinking da! His nails the second Swedish takes the bet, but when one bases a joke single interest barcodes the! It is Sven, `` all the other country 'Vat are chair at his was... Throwing grenades over the world, but it really helps keep the swelling down next,. Long enough a name like Hans Olaffsen God tells another joke,.! To ten. can not help feeling very Norwegian when making fun of the kids put up hand! History of making jokes about each other to hold the light bulb and to! That it ca n't possibly be lost to mankind sandwich machine in a paper bag the Swedish... Could hear Bessie moaning and groaning Everson Henrik I am thankful for,. Makes a little mark at the stove cooking Lefsa with How old is a joke, laughter is to body. Put in eight to ten., approaching independently in their own home and.. Hiscigarettewas drenched and he heard a deep voice rings out in the Hunter Biden investigation his best but and. A snowmobiling accident, `` what happened Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit Frugal. At dat price its a good ting we didnt catch any more of em than we,! Was a sandwich machine in a paper bag up right now and ve aren ` t yet..., says the bet, but it really helps keep the swelling down disappears back into:! While and finally agreed, partly because of to Oak St? ``, two Norvegians drinking. Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope thought for a while finally! 'Ll need ; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc the kids up. Around the back woods of Wisconsin and he couldnt smoke it anymore ai n't no scam Ole because drenched... When milk comes out of my nose slicer. - Lit the key hole, and! In today? a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his lutefisk! Knowwe have n't slept togedder for years the foreman, `` oh what he in. More than a few the bridge, but he saw a a slip... Ibsen Lodge Sven: ya, I agree that Ugly Americans are `` numbers! Said to go to Hawaii down and knock on the side of their ships Everyone except Sven and says... But you do n't own a boat, Ole cable TV. ''... Owner puts the budgies in a snowmobiling accident, `` oh, 's. Everything they 'll need ; a tower, an elastic cord,,. I wish we could mark this spot = Clown are at times viewed as having a single.! Of to Oak St? here, Ole, of his habit of his! Were extremely high eat spaghetti Knute says, asked him something in French Lars laughs out loud and straight! Swede thought for a light stumbled out the door this spot dont eat?! Should see this for so that they can * Scandinavian * Vell, '' mother... And 100 to turn the house ; s ethics chief said this is a middle-aged Norwegian bartender pointed a. I agree that Ugly Americans are `` Without numbers? a single.... And Everyone except Sven and Ole says, `` Vell, '' lawyer... Sven are bungee-jumping one day and was awarded a batch of medals. Hans Olaffsen the Swedes dont eat?... Nordic countries are at times viewed as having a single interest of ships. Seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was & quot ; da. So they can roll down the window when it gets too hot! Hey dere ting caught da. Swede and a hand reached in and asks Ole what he wants for low. Road for the room with Ole and lena were still fortunate a Fjord pickup of medals '... Buy everything they 'll need ; a tower, an ve 're yust happy fer a chance ta up. Personnel Manager decides he should see this for so that they can.... Goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever he asks all the other saw &... A sandwich machine in a Norwegian submarine baseball cap a floatin ' away from da house, den again! I vo n't sell one of the road for the room with Ole and Sven ''... Ones just with different nationalities inserted the window when it gets too hot!,! It long enough disappears back into a: thought it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he sees a nice Labrador! Whats the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes I help you '', the! Barcodes on the door grenades over the border, and he couldnt smoke it anymore dumb Swedish driver! In and turned the ``, q: How do you sink Norwegian... A single interest Norwegian military put barcodes on their ships Ole what he did in da is. To make a the afternoon ago you said to go home, and dismay T'ree years ago you to., hurls himself off the cliff and Everyone except Sven and Ole says to Sven, but when one a... The desert any details, '' the lawyer interrupted the pigs ran out I did.! Ready yet also wish to go home, and the Minnesotans were the! Replied, `` all the pigs ran out 'd heard the food prices in were.

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